Another Conference Day

Another conference day

Before I begin today's update, I really have to give anothe shout out to Jocelyn who has been helping me get this blog updated. There is no making sense of this country. They have technology here; they have to somewhere. We're all familiar with trying to call next door only to be re-routed to someone in India first. (Unless next door happens to BE Indians like mine-- ok bad example.) Anyway, this whole country is a mystery. They really are trying to keep up with the rest of the world; outsourcing and all. But they don't even have trash or sewer systems or decent roads. First things first, people! It's like they're trying to bike a Triathlon on a tricycle.... a rickety one at that. I had a fleeting desire today to champion their cause and head up a huge Clean Up India project. They're so colorful and blingy but it's so dirty!

That was a long way to say we remain frustrated with not ever being able to get on the Internet either for lack of entirely, or intermittent electricity when you do get Internet. Sheesh! I have given up and am completely relying on Jocelyn to get these urgent and electrifying updates out to you. So, thanks, Josh! (I wish I could tell you I got you something neat in the French Region but there was no shopping time. Boo. )

I also want to thank my family for all of the cards, pictures and letters you sent with me. You'll never know how I look forward to opening one everyday. Best family in the world! Thanks!

Now for the update. We left our fabulous hotel this morning and drove about an hour to the Tindivanum conference. It was a small all-day conference, and the women there were sweet and full of appreciation for us to come so far to encourage them.

I spoke about when our own shame and the messages we allow ourselves to believe about ourselves keep us from doing what God has called us to do. The anecdote is two-fold; we plunge in and just start doing ministry however it presents itself while we also do a little Cognitive Therapy on ourselves by renewing our minds. We do that by searching for the truth about ourselves and telling ourselves the truth instead of the lies.

For example, instead of being praalyzed with thoughts of "I'm not smart enough", or "Others will reject me", we begin to tell ourselves "If God has called me, He will equip me", or "I don't have to be liked by everyone to be valuable in God's service". And while we are practicng doing ministry and renewing our minds, God is transforming our hearts and lives.

There were many women nodding their heads relating to the questions asked and the words I said. That's one of the coolest things I'm certain of after coming here several times now; women are really the same everywhere. We all have feelings of inadequacy in some area of our lives. And oddly, life experiences often serve to reinforce the lies we believe about ourselves. We have to fight for the truth if we really want it. Ugh. But it's always worth the effort!

Belinda and Prati also spoke brilliantly, of course, and the women left the conference encouraged and inspired.

We are driving to Chennai to spend the night, and in the morning we fly out somewhere.... Mumbai, I think?

I DO have some monkey pictures for you! I promised, and here they are! I also might throw in a few general pics of what I see here and there. Usually the pictures are taken from the van so they may be blurry or fuzzy, but it's the best I can do. If we asked the driver to stop every time we wanted a picture, we'd never get anywhere!

Finally, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Savannah! I love you so much and I hope you have a really fun birthday! Wish I could be there! XOXOXOXO

Paula- Out!

PS- RaeAnn was also supposed to speak today, but due to her being ill, we thought she should sit this one out. But she did come, and slowly but surely she's feeling better. Yay!

Our lovely Hotel (or hodle, as Prati says)

Still very Indian, but nice!!

Sheer opulence. Suffering for the Lord!

Tindivanum Conference

Words of wisdom. Ha. Translated by our good friend, Lillian,

who traveled with us to Sri Lanka the first time I came.

Lillian, Paula, and Prati on conference lunch break in the pastor's home.

MONKEYS!!!!

See what I mean? Wanna join Project Clean Up India?

A common sight

Hard working people (in the HEAT!)

There really are no words.....

Indian Princesses!

Sunday morning at Sharon

Praise and Worship

Belinda speaking at Sharon with Sarah translating

New Flip-Flops!

Our thank you note

Heavy lifting!

Cutie boys (I'm bringing them home!)

Silly boys (I'm not bringing them home!) ha.

Happy Sunday!

Today was sort of an easy day. We went to church this morning here at Sharon, which was a treat. We had our first Sari wearing today, which is always fun. It's funny-- wrap 5 yards of silk around you, and immediately you're transformed into a princess! No glass slipper needed!

(You'll notice RaeAnn didn't get to join the fun- she started getting sick last evening and came down with a pretty wicked virus. She was up through the night with all the hateful things viruses do. It wasn't complete without her.

The congregation here at Sharon Gardens is mostly the workers and children from the home with some neighborhood people also in attendance. There used to be more people from the surrounding area, but IGL has planted a couple churches nearby which were actually closer for most of the people to attend.

The service was fairly familiar, even though we couldn't understand the songs. There was worship music, a sermon, offering and communion. Sam was thoughtful to have one of their daughters sit behind us and translate when someone was speaking.

Belinda spoke during the sermon part of the service. Her words were sweet and inspringin from John 17. "As the Father has sent me, so I send you." This is the IGL theme for this year, which will be the emphasis for all conferences, teachings, etc. I thought it ironic, in a way, that in our country we send missionaries and workers here, and these people are talking about being sent themselves.

I am always made aware the biggest difference to me between third world countries and the U.S. is the felt need for God. These people are desperate for God, and when they find Him, they are desperate to share the difference He makes in their lives. We simply do not need God in America. We are so self-sufficient and can exist quite well on our own, thank you very much. Not so here.

After church, we packed our things and had lunch before we got back on the van (once again!), for a 6 hr bull ride east to the French-speaking city of Pondicherry. It's supposed to be a beautiful place and obviously quite unusual. We spend the night there and head to Tindivandum for a conference tomorrow. RaeAnn is on the schedule to speak during Session 3 tomorrow, but I don't see how. She is quite ill. The only thing worse than being that sick so far away from home is having to ride 6 hours squished in an uncomfortable van on these roads with this traffic. Poor thing. Please pray she gets well and somehow those of us sharing such close quarters here for 6 hours evade the bug! That WOULD be a miracle!

However... Before we left today, two very special things happened! The first was that I had delivered the flip-flops I brought to Prati, knowing she would know which 50 children most needed them. She certainly must have, because she called me down and asked me to wait for her outside the gate. While I was down there, this adorable yound middle school-age girl in a simple white sari came up to me and in nearly perfect English said, "Excuse me, Auntie, can you please get Mummy?" I knew from previous interactions with the children here that any older woman is always "Auntie" (don't you love it?), and every child at Sharon calls Prati their "Mummy", like the British (don't you love it even more?!).

I ran in to get Prati and the whole thing seemed somewhat of a set-up, because when I returned with her, there were about 8-10 children all wearing their brand-new flip-flops! I almost started crying!

Prati said while she didn't have time yet to decide about all the flip-flops, she did want to choose several children while I was there becuase "Your grandchildren did such a nice thing to send to my "children", and I wanted my children to say thank you."

They had made a card and all signed it for you, Grayson and Berkley. (And Shannah, I know you are crying by now.)

And it's all a matter of where you're born... I have lots of questions for God someday.

The second very exciting thing was that I presented Prati with the checks so many of you sent for the women of India! There just didn't seem to be an appropriate time before today, but it turned out to be just the perfect time! We were ending our time here at Sharon and it just seemed fitting to leave behind your heartfelt, tangible wishes and prayers.

So your very own checks are all the way here in Indai! She was thrilled and touched by your generosity. I told her I had awesome friends, and of course, she wants you all to come and see for yourselves the things your money has helped to accomplish. So, what do you think?!

I told her we would let her decide how best to use the money, and I trust her completely. Just think, someday up in heaven a lady in a sari will come up to you and tell you her story and thank you personally!

Well, I am writing this on the van as we end our day (September 11 came and went without a hitch here, so I am praying the same for you as your day is just beginning there). We have about 30 more minutes of this trip and my butt is NUMB!

Good Night!

Missing photos (caught in spam)

Vicki's session with Stella translating

THE WATER TOWER AND WELL!! YAY, GOD!

A Sweet Farewell

Sugarcane Juice Stop (pure glucose!)

First Full Conference Day

Today was a long day that began early. We left Sharon Gardens for a 3 hr van ride to Tirupper, but about an hour into the trip our van broke down. After several attempts to revive it, we all got out on the "highway" and boarded a small bus that just happened to be sitting on the road acrosee the street. Not sure how these things work here but it was rather amusing. I'm sure there was discussion about what to do in all the chatter we couldn't understand, but we weren't privy to any of it. It seemed like we broke down, and "Hey, there's a bus, let's get on that one! And, hey, let's have that guy drive us 2-1/2 hours away!" And we did, and he did, and off we went! Hilarious. After the conference there was yet another van to take us back. Some things we will never understand.

(From left, Belinda, Vicki, Dana, RaeAnn, me in back, and Alfie, Pratti's Great Dane puppy to our right!)

I told you I would introduce you to the team I am with. I have always come to India with my friend from Kansas City (Olathe), Belinda Kendall, whom I mentioned yesterday. She is the Compassion and Care pastor at Indian Creek church, where her husband, Gary, is senior pastor. I love these 2 people. They have built their ministry around the important truth that ministry happens outside the church walls. And i know they live that personally as well. Belinda is one of the most compassionate, selfless people I know. I love traveling with her. It's so fun to watch how God uses (and takes care of), her carefree ways. She's like a wind-up doll that goes here and there and back and forth spreading kindness until she crashes, then God winds her up again and off she goes!

I just met the other three girls on the trip, but already our hearts are aligned. Dana is a mom of three from Belinda's church. She works in a bank managing their IT department. She is adorable, lovable, agreeable, and a down-to-earth modern-day Christian. One wise woman!

RaeAnn is our spunky hair-stylist, and is also from Olathe. I share a kinship with RaeAnn, as she also has three daughters and is a BreakThrough alumni. Yay, BT! Everywhere we go people want to get their picture made with her, because she is so blonde and fair. We decided they like how she stands out in pictures, because after they see the picture they always say, "You are so bright!" ha. We've had some good laughs over that. Vicki is my regal friend from Wyoming. She is my roomie on this trip, except we have our rooms at Sharon). That was totally a God thing (we typically share rooms here too), since she became quite ill with a sore throat, congestion and fever night before last and missed yesterday altogether. Thanks for praying for this amazing lady. She was completely better today and gave a powerhouse story today at the conference. I'm looking forward to getting to know these women better and sharing these very cool two weeks with them. Hannah translates for Dana

Miss Pratibha takes a break from the platform

The all-day conference today was a small regional conference with about 125 women. They were all waiting for our late arrival, and were singing as if it were all planned that way. Prati opened with a charge to the women to not be satisfied with merely being a Christian, but to respond to God's Grace in their lives by getting out and influencing others for good and sharing God with others. She used the scripture about Peter and Cornelius and how Cornelius was a good man who prayed often but sent for Peter to explain more to him. Peter initially resisted, and what if he had not gone? She is always a powerful speaker!

RaeAnn and Stella

RaeAnn's Story

In the rest of the conference, RaeAnn, Dana, and Vicki all shared their stories of the difference God's grace made in their lives and helped them overcome the shame of the past and gave them guidance, healing and freedom for today. They each did a great job sharing, and it was evident many women related to different parts of their stories.

There was an especially moving part of the day when Prati invited all of us who were mothers to pray for each other's children. That promting was pertinent to one of the sessions, and I would love to tell you all about it, but those are their stories and I don't feel I should share THEIR stories on MY blog. Hope you can respect that. Suffice it to say it was an incredible day full of courageous and vulnerable sharing.

Our lunch was Indian takey-outey. So fun! We never know exactly everything we're eating, but we did recognize fried rice and butter chicken (a sauce, really), and our team favorite so far, Naan, this yummy bread that looks like a brown tortilla. The challenge is always no silverware... or napkins for that matter. (Just read all that again and let it soak in.) When in Rome, right?

Tomorrow we actually get to stay at Sharon for church. My back is happy for that. Between the roads and the shock-less vans, I swear staying on a bull couldn't be that much harder!

Good morning to you all, good night to me.

This was a missing part of yesterday's submission :)

Living Water!

I woke up early this morning to the usual chanting, but I also thought I heard monkeys joining in. So I grabbed my camera to check it out and indeed there were several in the trees outside my door! A mom and two babies were jumping and swinging while at least two others were playing tag on the roof. Of course as soon as they saw me they quickly scampered up the trees where they could keep an eye on me while staying out of my camera's view. The two roof taggers kept playing peek-a-boo over the roof directly over my head, but they're much faster than my picture-taking finger. Believe me, I tried; I about fell over the railing trying to snap a shot! Prati simply snarls and says, "Aigh! Such mischievous creatures!" ha. I still hope to have a monkey picture for you before I leave here.

After breakfast we left for a 4 hour drive to visit the village of Theerampalayam to get an update on how IGL's "Adopt-a-Village" Program is going there. This program was born after the Tsunami hit Sri Lanka and parts of India. So many people here needed help and the relief efforts prompted an idea to give them the resources to help themselves so more people could be reached. I explained how it works in yesterday's post about building the community center that serves several villages and usually ends with building a church for the pastor to grow his congregation.

By the way, the Adopt-a-Village program is for churches or individuals to sponsor through a five year commitment which enables IGL to systematically train and strengthen these villages until they are self-sustaining. I think the five-year commitment is for $25,000 (check their website for accuracy on that), which might be enough to do the women's skills trainings in our country, but certainly wouldn't build a well, a Comm. Center and a church!

I am SO excited to tell you about today because much of what we witnessed today is also funded in part by Women With a Mission, and so many of you joined me in donating money to do exactly what I'm going to tell you about - women helping women!! So, thank you again!
The highlight of today started with the fact that I traveled to this village last year, met some of the women, had a wonderful lunch in the pastor's home, AND, we held the ground-breaking ceremony for the clean-water well. This particular village was adopted by Indian Creek Community Church in Olathe Kansas, which is where the girl I travel with, Belinda Kendall, pastors with her husband, Gary. There are no words to describe how moving it was to walk into the village, turn down a path and actually SEE the well and water tower we broke ground for last year! And this year, we got to DEDICATE the well!! The people are so grateful and truly William and Kate wouldn't have received a finer welcome and thank-you!
After the dedication we headed to the Community Center to hear people from the village tell how, thanks to IGL, they have been helped. One blind man and several other disabled people told how they didn't have any income or food until IGL stepped in and advocated for them to receive a small monthly disability pension. Another widow shared how she, too, didn't have income, but was able to receive a sewing machine and training through a micro-loan from IGL and has since paid it back and is working as a tailor.

In addition to those and other stories, we handed out certificates to the latest group of graduates from the "Cutting and Tailoring" classes and were presented with beautiful pillow cases they had made. I especially loved that part! We also gave out hygiene bags to the children which contained a toothbrush and paste, soap, a comb. a bag of laundry soap and other items as part of their hygiene training classes. Of course, I especially liked that part too! Ha.

While we were there we got to experience the Women's skill building program as the area coordinator and the local village director taught a cooking class to about 25 women on how to make a "Pickle Sauce". (It has nothing to do with pickles or pickling that we could see!). Wish I could do a link for the recipe and serving suggestions, but suffice it to say it involves a potfull of garlic, a bathtub full of chili powder and of course CURRY! All I can say is it was HOT, HOT, HOT, and it was GOOD!

Oh, and not to be too graphic but I just have to say I broke the curse of the squatty potty today! Woo-hoo! My family and those of you who have traveled with me to Ukraine or India know what an accomplishment that is for me and we'll leave it at that! Ha!

Sorry these updates are so long. Should I leave out some details and make them shorter? I just wish you all were here to experience this with me!
Tomorrow we speak at a regional conference, and I've been wanting you to meet the awesome women I'm traveling with, so that will be a good time to do that.
Love to all!

PS- One of the girls on our team is sick with a fever and missed today. Please pray for Vicki! Thanks!

Happy Birthday to Ganesh

Jewelry Ministry!

Please pray for Pravitha!

Women and Children at the KM Pattty Village Community Center

Sharon Secondary School

Nursing School and Community College

Jam Packed Day!

I woke up this morning to the usual Hindu chanting and music blaring from the nearby streets. This week India celebrated the festival of Ganesh (the Elephant god), and strangely, they broadcast soundtracks from Bollywood musicals for this occasion. Evidently Ganesh doesn't have his/her own praise music. Even more strange, it's kind of cool to wake up to. At least I remembered I was in India!

Today was uber-busy and I am sleepy tonight. I slept well last night for the first time, even though it was only 5 hours.

This morning we did the tour of Sharon Gardens which never gets old. The nursing school and community college are growing, and we met many of the students who look young but are serious about their education. These are students who come from the neighboring villages and have completed their public schooling but would not be able to go farther in school to learn a trade or have a career, since higher education is all private. IGL brings these young people here and literally gives them a future by training them in nursing, computers, engineering, teaching, life skills, etc, and then securing jobs for them after graduation as part of their program. Their education is totally sponsored by IGL donors, and costs a mere $300 start to finish.

We also spent some time in Sharon's Cancer Hospital where we met Pativrha, a beautiful young girl 12-14 yrs. old who was waiting for her radiation treatment for bone cancer. Even though they were Hindu, she and her mother were grateful we prayed with her. My prayer was that God might use our intersecting paths today to heal her, that her life may take a different course and she might grow to be a godly woman and an influence in her community. She was precious, precious.

We of course saw the industrial parts of Sharon and the dairy farm and tailor shop which has grown into a full-fledged garment business (Oh, the fabrics just lying in heaps on the floor!), but the most jarring visit was to the schools which are in a real predicament. The high school has been waiting their re-accreditation papers for several years now. The paperwork has been filed and re-filed and just gets shuffled from one government desk to another. Prati says they will call and report something missing from the application or some other mistake that needs correcting, none of which are true. She has had to resend ridiculous numbers of pictures (every angle of every corner of every building and room, including bathrooms!), because they say they were never sent with the applications. The government is corrupt and they want Sam and Prati to give them money in exchange for the accreditations, which they obviously want no part of. They have already been required to purchase airline tickets for visiting education officials just for their file to remain open. Weird.

I asked her about appealing in person to their political sense of hurting India's future, but clearly their hands are tied. She said they would be investigated for simply being seen in government offices and when the investigators found out there were other businesses and employees on the grounds here, they would consider them wealthy and begin to confiscate their vehicles (ambulances, school busses, trucks etc.), for government use. So they have to lay low and, in Prati's words, "trust their God who parted the Red Sea", to change hearts and stamp paperwork!

The school is beginning to suffer now because the class that began with this ordeal is about to graduate, and if they are not accredited, the students will be barred from going on to college (since Sharon is a private school), and their education will be basically "wasted." Already 60 families have pulled their children out as a result. Unbelievable. This kind of injustice makes me crazy! So please pray for something to happen fast. (Also, Sharon's schools (primary and secondary), hold the top 492 spots for highest test scores in this region; over 3/4 their entire enrollment of 600!). These are GOOD schools! AND, thanks in large part To IGL's impact on education, this regIon is now 100% child literate!! Hugely Incredible for India!

Our campus tour was followed by a visit to a neighboring village where IGL has built their 4th Community Center which ministers to the social needs of surrounding villages. IGL sends in Representatives with a local Barefoot Pastor to build a clean-water well, form Bible Studies, issue micro-loans for cows, goats, sewing machines, medical surgeries, and tutoring), teach the village women life skills such as hygiene, water purification, basic health needs (vaccines etc), craft-making for extra income, problem-solving and other skills necessary for normal life. Along the way they raise up and train leaders from the villages, plant a church and eventually an entire group of villages becomes healthy and self-sustaining and IGL moves on to repeat the process somewhere else. I love this ministry!

After drenching the morning in such sobering needs, the shopping "ministry" was greatly needed. We blitzed their amazing jewelry stores where we were served tea, more Sari shops where we were served coffee, then jetted back to Sharon for a special children's program of the adorable 300 kids at the primary school here. I wish I could put all those pictures and videos on here for you to see, but sending that much data over the cell network would break the bank (which is how I'm having to do this due to the almost- world wide web difficulties!),

It would be great if all of you could sit down and see all the pictures when I get back, but I probably have never seen most of your vacation pictures, either. Ha. I'm just grateful you're reading!

Tomorrow another village visit, four hours away. Maybe you'll get a crazy traffic video tomorrow- if you're lucky! Stay tuned!

Tea time at the conference

Small group sharing

Ah! The Sari Shop!

How many school girls can you get into a tuk-tuk?

Leadership Training Day

This morning, we met at IGL offices to greet the employees and be a part of their Wednesday morning EPT (extended prayer time). The employees pray together for the many needs of IGL, it's global partners and supporters, employees, children in their children's homes and schools, and other students, volunteers, and of course those they are working to reach and help. Pretty amazing.

The rest of the day was a Leadership Training Day just for Pratti's local leaders, about 45-50 women. She has other leaders in different areas of India, but this day-long session was specifically for these local women. I was very excited and humbled to put together this training and present all but one session. Talk about feeling unqualified and inadequate! But man, did I have fun! This is what I was created to do!

These women were precious in their vulnerability and zeal to lead other women in their villages and communities and were all about identifying, training and nurturing new leaders under them. We had one session devoted to small groups where each woman shared her strengths and gifts as a leader and then areas where she feels challenged and stretched based on what they learned today. Oh my, I wish you could have heard their hearts! One woman said because she is uneducated she fears she will be rejected as a leader in her village (of other uneducated women!). It was the perfect time to challenge her toward education if she desired, and to encourage her with reminders that God chooses and equips those who hear His call and follow His leading regardless of their education. (He chose fishermen to carry out his mission, right?) This woman's wisdom and intelligence more than made up for any schooling she lacked.

What a great day getting to hear the hearts of these women who are just like us in their hopes and dreams, fears, doubts, rebellions and even their areas of pride! I LOVE these women!

Of course a hard day of speaking and sharing and pouring out our hearts requires a fill-up, so Pratti took us to our favorite shopping spot- THE SARI STORE!! I can't even start on what that place does to me. The colors, the designs and the fabric are like nothing you've ever seen, and are completely irresistible! Enough said. (You might want to check the charge cards, honey!). I'm a happy girl.

Tomorrow is a rest day where we tour the Mission here in Salem. It is Sam's vision to have 12 Mission bases throughout India and Sri Lanka, and so far there are 4, either completed or begun. Since 85% of India's 1.2 billion people live in rural areas, and since there are many other great ministries working in the cities, Sam has chosen to target the villages and rural communities where the greatest need is. The mission here has, on the property, a children's home and school, a high school, a community college, a nursing school, a hospital (one of the few cancer hospitals in all of India), a dairy farm, a tailor school and shop (they make school uniforms, what else?!), a metal working business, a concrete block facility, a paint shop and a church. Needless to say, they have made a tremendous impact in this area by training and providing jobs and income to many people here in South India.

Well, I'm off to bed and will try to update again tomorrow. By the way, this blog is brought to you by Jocelyn who has been cutting and pasting my emails and pictures into my blog dashboard, since Internet is SO frustrating here, even though they have it (sort of). Part of the issue is that (like most 3rd world countries, if you've ever been), the electricity goes off at LEAST 5 times in the evenings. That always manages to happen right when I'm ready to hit "publish"! So, this just seems to be foolproof, albeit expensive on the old phone bill! So, thanks, Josh! Love to all, and please keep praying. While we are nowhere near the Delhi bombing today, September 11th looms.

On that happy note, Good Night!

Ready, Set, Go!

Good morning from Delhi!

I am hurrying to breakfast, then off to catch another flight to Coimboture and a 3 hour van ride down to Salem. We will finally arrive at our homebase for a few days! The LONG flight here was interesting, as I was obviously seated in the "nursery", where there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth by some small, but mighty travelers. Poor things... poor moms! I personally had a great seat and a nice seatmate, so the 15 hours was sleepless but pleasant.

Our hotel here was nice for the brief hours, but the internet "coupon" had mysteriously "ended" about the time we arrived at our rooms, so no posting last night. (We think we either weren't tipping enough rupees or the guys downstairs wanted to go to bed!)

The festival of Ganesh is this week... Hindu gods abound everywhere. I asked our taxi driver last night the name of his god during our discussion, and he asked which one .... there are millions and he personally has five. He talked about his favorite, and I asked him what his god (whose name escapes me), does for him. His reply was a very fast, "I have no idea." Lots of work to do here. :)

Love you all,

Paula

India SOON!

In thinking about my upcoming trip to India, I am wistful about all the sights I will see. I love seeing all the women in their saris. Rich or poor, they are all beautifully adorned with bracelets, hair flowers or jewels, and amazing color cobinations in their saris.

I also have a special place in my heart for the children. India's children number over 2x the U.S. population! Over 3 million children live in India! Most of them destitute, victims of child labor or trafficking, but all completely precious and loved by our Heavenly Father. You can see in their eyes, they still have hope. Hope that they are loveable, hope that they will be cared for and protected, hope that they will be rescued.

The country is enmeshed with so many religious practices. Hindu temples, shrines and gods are everywhere, and sadly, I have talked to many people who openly admit their gods have done nothing to help them.

Still, the colors and sounds of India get inside your brain and pull you into the hearts of the people there. I will be going again early September, and ...

I can't wait to go back!!

What Women Want and Less Exciting Thoughts

Wow - It has been almost two years since I last posted. I have blog shame. Not only had I stopped blogging, but I stopped WRITING! (Creatively, that is.) The events of the past two years snuffed out any desire to put real feelings out there for everyone to read. No doubt some of the experiences of the missing months will spill out onto these pages eventually, but for now, it is enough that I am writing again.

The ironic part of starting to blog again is that my last post asks a question about how wives can invite their husbands to make the relationship a priority and what we can do to get them to want to grow intimacy together. (Again, I will say I know there are many husbands who already desire and work on these things. My interest is in those who do not.) What I have learned in the past two years is a shocking truth, and may be terrifying to many women. That is the subject of one of my book proposals, and you will be hearing more about that later, I'm sure. If anyone (male or female), has any ideas on the subject they'd like to share, I invite you to comment.

On a more current note, I have just returned from a writer's conference, and I had such a great week of meeting other writer's, pitching ideas to editors, learning some new, practical tips on getting published, and even enjoying times of solitude. I interested two editors in the book proposal I took with me, got a nod on my Marathon Bible Study, and picked up another book idea with an invitation to get that proposal in as soon as I could! So we'll see what comes of all that. But now the hard work begins!
My mind is full of questions and I'm caught between confidence and cluelessness. The market has changed in the 15 years since I last published, and the digital implications are overwhelming. But good writing is still good writing.

I am praying for direction and affirmation in my writing goals. God is good and His timing is always perfect. I've been waiting a LONG time for this calling to come to fruition. Has anyone else out there felt like their dreams may never come true?

Thoughts on Marriage

Having just returned from teaching at a marriage seminar with HeartConnexion Ministries in Kansas City, (and prior to that weekend, the AACC conference in Nashville), I am filled up professionally. That makes me happy. But having also seen the breaking hearts of spouses who want so much more for their marriages and can't seem to make it happen, I remain somewhat discouraged about the state of marriages in general. And that makes me sad.
I am reminded of the starfish thrower in the Joel Barker video who, despite being chided for even attempting to save the hundreds of starfish that had washed ashore, determined to make a difference one starfish at a time, unaffected by an otherwise impossible task. The problem is, we may never know if we are indeed making a difference.
My passion is for marriages... for families... for the precious, innocent children whose healthy development lies almost completely at the mercy of how strong or weak mom and dad's marriage is. My heart's desire is to make a difference, yet I am cautious, knowing I want more even in my own marriage. I am trained in relationships and considered an "expert" in the seminar room, but I am quick to confess I don't have a perfect marriage, rather one in progress as well.
One of the questions that haunts me and has caused me to begin researching the answers is, what help is there for a marriage when only one spouse is interested in working on it? I see this frequently and hear many women, especially, long for their husbands to work as hard at their marriage as they do their jobs. (I'm sure there are many men saying the same thing, but my heart is for women, so that is my focus.) Either the husband is too busy with his career or other endeavors, or there is resistance, denial or refusal. Finding answers for the heartbreak of these women is increasingly important to me. Is there a way of behavior and attitude that will invite and intice their husbands to want to change? To make the marriage a priority? To begin to desire that safe harbor that marriage should be? I believe there are many women asking this same question.
The other observation / question that is beginning to gain my attention is the seemingly unique personality traits of men who are in leadership positions and the equally unique challenges in their marriages. I am researching this one also, but I am developing a theory that these strong and unique personalities seem to have difficulty transitioning from their professional lives to their personal lives, which eventually often leads them straight into a marital crisis of some kind. Only the man who consistently keeps his faith as his number one priority is able to avert disaster. How do we help the wives of these uniquely gifted leaders? What can be done to save these marriages? This is critical since many of these leaders happen to be pastors.
I am overwhelmed with these and other questions. I am frustrated with my inability/unwillingness to create a schedule for myself where I can study, research, write and work on all this. I am pulled in so many directions personally and professionally and feel like I am accomplishing little in both areas. I am in desperate need of fulfillment and productivity, and I am ashamed when I acknowledge I have all the ability in the world to create this for myself. I am positive this is part of my calling, and I am feeling myself a poor steward of my gifts if I don't begin producing, whatever that looks like. I am crazy wrestless with desire to find answers, to help, to make a difference; even if for one marriage at a time.