The 100th Date!

I am reprinting for you the contents of the Story of Shannah and Matt. The booklet these words belong in was at each guest's place at their wedding (which I shall be blogging about later!). Enjoy!

ACT I (Early Last Summer)

After first meeting at a local bookstore, exchanging telephone numbers, and long phone conversations into the night, Matt began driving all the way to West County to meet Shannah on the porch after her kids were asleep. These were not dates by anybody's definition. Hoping for more than marathon drives that ended in on-the-sly encounters, they managed to eek out several real dates. Things progressed. Conversation deepened. Love blossomed.
Not wanting to confuse, alarm or excite the kids, Shan made sure she had a plan for exactly when to introduce even the idea of dating someone. Or so she thought.

One evening, Grayson stretched out across the bed watching Shan brush her hair.

"Where ya going?" he asked.

"Well, Gray", she said turning to face him, "I have a date tonight."

"Matt?" he probed.

"Um, yeah" how did you know?"

"I hear things", he quipped.

"Well, yes, I have a date with a guy named Matt."

"Is this your first date?"

"No. I think it*s about our third or fourth." Gray sat up on the bed, and began calculating his next round of questions.
"So, how many dates do you have to go on before you get married?" he asked slyly.

"A lot!" Shan answered quickly.

"I know, but like how many?"

"I don*t know, like a lot!"

"Come on, I need a number."

"Like a lot! Like a hundred, I don't know."

"A hundred? Really?! Wow. So when do we get to meet him?"
Having already asked herself this question, and not having a clue what the magic number was that would be most considerate of their little hearts, she answered confidently, "Um, I don*t know."

"Well, I think we should meet him on date 20, cause that*s when you start getting all attached, and people like you really get attached."

"Really," she smirked as she slipped on her shoes. "Well, I guess that sounds about right, then. "Date twenty it is."

ACT II Matt's Story

(A Man of Few Words Who Knows What He Wants)

"I had just about resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life. And then I met Shan. I remember I use to sit on the front porch waiting for the kids to go to bed, and sometimes we'd sneak back onto her screened-in porch she calls her tree house. We kissed on the third date, and I remember I was impressed that she loved to cook, she would actually watch a football game, she would drink a beer, and camping was her favorite thing. I asked her why she wasn't already taken. We instantly bonded when she said her dream was to take her kids to a different National Park every year. But when she told me she went to Woodstock and didn't shower for five days... I knew she was the girl for me."

ACT III Shannah's Story

(This is How I Knew Matt Loved Me)

"Grayson wanted to meet Matt after date 20, but I wasn't convinced either the kids or Matt were really ready for all that could mean. As the days went by, I was reminded the dates were indeed being counted and we were well past number 20. So we decided on date 27 we would all go camping. We were leaving on Thursday afternoon for St. Francis State Park, and I was touched when Matt showed up with a new inner tube for the flat tire on Berkley's bike. Major points.
I was in my car with the kids and the dog, and Matt was ahead of us in his truck which was loaded down with all the camping gear. When we finally got there, it was raining and already dark. Matt got out my three-room tent complete with broken poles and proceeded to put it up in the dark, in the rain, aided only by my headlights, a hyper, three month-old Golden Retriever, and two kids he never met running around yelling every two seconds, "Can we get in? Can we get in?" There was no dinner, no grass (only mud), and Matt silently and saintly setting up the tent, never saying a word.
We ate PB & J sandwiches off the dashboard, blew up the air mattresses and decided we had enough fun for one night. We put the dog in his cage in one room, girls in one room, boys in the other, and settled in for the night. The next morning Matt and Grayson took Beau for a walk by the river, while Berkley and I slept in. When we got up, I piled the kids back in the car and took off for the kids' soccer games, leaving poor Matt behind to take down the whole campsite with the dog. Two worlds collided."

EPILOGUE(This Brings Us to Tonight)
Last night, the dress rehearsal was our 100th date. Welcome to our wedding!

A New Dad, Please

I remember well sitting in my prayer chair in my office about a year and a half ago. Sometimes my time there honestly feels more methodical than heartfelt. With my prayer journal in hand, I begin. "Good morning. It's me again." And then I list all the 'please don't forget abouts' and 'could you please grants', stopping to refresh God's memory about needs that would obviously slip through the cracks if He didn't have me regularly bringing them to His attention.
On this particular week, my heart was especially troubled for two of my grandkids who desperately needed a father and my precious daughter who has so much to give to a relationship. My prayers were passionate and the situation I presented on those days was one of utter hopelessness save divine intervention on their behalf. Time was slipping away, I told God. "Soon, Gray will be too old to bond with another man. He's the perfect little boy for a dad. He asks so many questions and is so full of desire to imitate and idolize. You just can't leave him hanging out there without a dad to emulate! And Berk... she so needs to be special to someone. If she isn't soon certain she's cherished and protected by a dad, she'll go looking to be special to anyone. We can't let that happen to her, and you're the only one who can stop it! And single moms?! Geez, it's too hard, God! This is not how it's suppose to be! Will you help us? Please, I know you can. Will you? PLEASE??"
I sent the same clanging up day after day for several weeks. I don't know where the urgency came from, but I know I wasn't the only one who felt it. Nor was I the only one praying about it. I just happen to be the only one writing about it. I don't know whether it was the persistence, or the number of prayers rising up, or the sheer desperation of those petitions. Perhaps it was the precious, innocent, simple prayers of Gray and Berk themselves, along with those of their cousins and classmates, who consistently offered up requests for a new dad over breakfast, broccoli, and bedtimes. Whatever, however, and whomever; God listened. And His compassionate heart was filled with the intention to right a wrong done to this incomplete, but otherwise happy, little threesome. He is truly awesome.
A couple months and many similar prayers later, Shannah casually mentioned she had been "talking to someone", and was thinking about taking it up a notch. This "casual" mentioning was significant. I usually knew when she sneezed. I knew about every date or hint of since her divorce, so this comment made with all the resolve and discretion of a confident thirty-something single woman spoke volumes. And believe me, I was listening.
As the weeks dragged on, I found my hopes and my breath suspended. I had no clue what to make of the unfolding of this relationship. She was cautious and deliberate. Every step was planned out, but still possessed the same effortless non-chalance only Shannah can pull off. I was completely impressed, though not surprised, at her judgments, questions and strategy of the relationship. I was amazed at how she balanced trusting with holding back. Here was a woman who had learned from the past, yet truly still wanted a good relationship and was working to see if this one could be that. All indicators appeared it indeed could be. This man was gentle and sincere and was excited about having a family of his own.
Early in my prayers since the relationship began I didn't quite know how to pray. My discussions with God were more like an interrogation. What's going on? Should I be getting excited or should I still be praying? Is it too early to start praising you? Are you actually answering prayer here?! His response was a teaching moment for my own spiritual growth... as is always the case, since He never changes, and is always most concerned that I learn more about Him (and because I am constantly in need of a teaching moment.)
Immediately I was taken back to a scripture that at first read doesn't make much sense. In Mark 9 Jesus is asked to heal a boy possessed by a demon. When Jesus challenges the boy's father on whether he believes Jesus can help his son, the man replies, "I believe. Help my unbelief." Sounds crazy to me. Either you believe or you don't. But Jesus was showing me exactly what this man meant. In fact, Jesus knew I already knew what he meant. I don't know this man's heart. Perhaps his unbelief was truly a matter of Jesus' ability as the passage suggests. But for me, my unbelief wasn't about can He, but rather will He? I was confident Jesus could bring the perfect man into Shan's family, but I wasn't confident He would. It wasn't even a matter of His will concerning the circumstance. I am convinced we pray according to His will in matters where He has already spoken. We know families are His very own creation. We know Fathers are extremely important to every aspect of a child's development. We know we were made to be in relationship. Fathers and whole families are already His will, so my doubt obviously didn't lie in matters of His Will. Rather, my doubt was buried in matters of His choosing. Would He choose to answer MY prayers?
"You pray to me and cry to me and beg me for this, yet when I give you what you ask for, you are in shock that it's happening. You're not even sure it's happening still. You demonstrate unbelief." Wow. I am humbled and contrite. I can only say "I believe. Help my unbelief." And I get what it means.
The months have come and gone, and the relationship has proven solid. My unbelief has been replaced by praise... lots of praise. And lots of wedding planning! Surely, He gives exceeding abundantly above all we ask or can think to ask!